


Chasing the Dead

by Dolimir



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6705994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For twenty years Nori chased the dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> I started reading Hobbit fanfiction to get me through a very tough time in my life. This is just my way of saying thank you to all the wonderful writers who allowed me to forget my problems for a few hours at a time
> 
> *~*~*~*

Over the course of his life, in order to protect kin and crown, Nori had committed several acts which he hoped Mahal would forgive, and perhaps even understand, being that he was something of a rebel himself. However, for the deed he was about to perpetrate, Nori knew there could be no forgiveness. 

Air barely passed over his lips as he whispered to his maker. “Please give me a sign. Tell me I’m doing the right thing.”

Nori had never been particularly reverent toward Mahal, unlike Dori or Ori. He had experienced too much and seen even more to believe that their lord had any particular interest in him. Laying one hand upon the stone wall beside him, he prayed with his entire being that Mahal would strike him down and return him to stone, so he wouldn’t have to perform this final task. 

When nothing happened, he opened one eye, squinted at the ceiling and sighed in disappointment. 

“Figures.”

Chiding himself for putting off the inevitable, he rapped twice on the door in rapid succession. 

“Come.”

While invited, he still slipped around the door, hoping for a few moments to assess the situation before the room’s occupant was aware of him. 

Nori was shocked to discover that Balin had aged a century in the twenty years he had been gone. While he still radiated kindness and knowledge, his mere presence the image of inner strength, there was a bone weary sadness which surrounded him like a cloak. 

When Balin finally looked up from the mountains of paper on his desk, a smile broke over his face, genuinely happy to see his friend; and in that moment Nori’s resolve nearly crumbled. Nori watched as the happiness turned to hope, then quickly morphed into understanding and then grief. 

“So that’s it then?” Balin voice carried an air of finality. 

“It is.” Nori was shocked to discover that he could speak. “I have followed every rumor, every innuendo, every breath of hope.”

His resolve wavering in the face of his friend’s grief, Nori attempted to give his friend some measure of comfort. “But I have verified that no orc or goblin…”

Balin looked up at him, startled, then dipped his head once in acknowledgement. 

Desperate to change the subject before he fell before his friend and confessed all, Nori inquired about Erabor’s king. “How has it…”

“Dain has been a good king. Just and fair. Our people prosper.”

Nori studied his face, but found no lie. 

“Dain will be happy to find you returned to us. Even in peace, sadly, your talents are needed.”

“I will go make my return known then.”

A kind smile graced Balin’s face. “Morning will be soon enough. Meet me here two hours after sunrise and I will escort you to his study for a private conversation. Until then, go reacquaint yourself with your brothers. You have been sorely missed.” 

Nori bowed, understanding the dismissal, but once he reached the door, he turned and looked back at his friend then wished he hadn’t. The devastation he witnessed was more than he could bear, so he fled. 

While he longed to find his brothers, Nori knew he couldn’t seek them out, not with his lie weighing so heavily on his heart. Instead, his feet guided him to a public balcony. 

The stars shone brightly and he found the idea of being completely shut off from them surprisingly disconcerting. During his travels, he found comfort in the fact that he was completely insignificant to the universe, knowing that shifting his one pebble wouldn’t change the dynamic of the metaphorical beach. However, under the mountain, he suspected his return would have an impact, whether it be with his brothers or his new king. 

Sitting on a bench near the railing, he pulled his pipe from his jacket, hoping a good smoke might calm his mind. He looked skyward, wondering if Mahal might change his mind once the deed had been done, but the stars remained silent. How in Arda had he gotten himself into such a pickle?

Hope. 

The most destructive force on the planet. 

He lit his pipe and shoved it into his mouth to prevent a hysterical burst of laughter. 

When Nori had told Balin he had tracked down every breath of hope, he hadn’t been obfuscating. He had traversed most of Arda for a whisper of what had happened to the bodies of the crowned princes after the battle. 

The prevailing theory was that the red-headed she-elf had taken Kíli’s body, unwilling or unable to see him returned to stone. And while those in the know were understandably furious, they also understood, to a certain extent, that there were cultural differences; they could even sympathize with her unresolved feelings. But all were in agreement that Kíli’s body must be returned. 

The disappearance of Fíli’s body was even more disconcerting. While orcs and goblins had no compunction against desecrating bodies and would most certainly do so to a member of the royal line, all who might have seen Fíli fall were dead. The second army had been routed before they had reached Ravenhill. 

Rumors had immediately sprung from the ether. The favorite being that Thorin’s eldest heir still lived, but would not return to Erabor knowing that his family was waiting. Some speculated that orcs had kidnapped the body before the prince’s last breath and were holding him for nefarious purposes. 

Dain had decreed that no stone would go unturned. While he didn’t hold out any hope that either prince might be alive, he would not tolerate the enemy despoiling their bodies either. He had wanted them safely entombed beside their King before Dis reached Erabor. 

Nori had been one of a dozen dwarrow sent out to find the bodies of the missing heirs. 

Two of the twelve had been killed during the first year when they had ventured too close to enemy camps. Three had returned after two years. Five returned after three years. One had continued searching for a decade before he, too, returned. 

Only Nori had remained steadfast in his mission. 

He had been exploring the coast, north of Dol Amroth, when he stumbled across a rumor of a red-headed elf trading beautifully crafted jewelry for books on animal husbandry. 

He scoured the coastline, but for naught. He occasionally found someone who knew somebody who had traded with a red-headed elf, although some claimed the elf was male and trading for weaving looms. Others stated she was short and stocky and looking specifically for medicinal seedlings. The only thing everyone could agree on was a mysterious figure trading for unusual supplies.

It appeared the elf never revisited the same village or trading post. Given the fact that she had absconded with the youngest heir’s body, she had to have known that Erabor would eventually send trackers after her. Her caution, more than anything else, convinced Nori the elf in question was Tauriel. 

Unfortunately, no one could agree on which direction she came from or where she was headed once she left. 

After he had spent years combing through practically every mile of coastland, he became convinced she wasn’t on the mainland. Even an elf would occasionally be seen, even if only at a distance, but there were no such sighting. 

Which left the islands. 

But after five years, he had set foot on every known island surrounding Dol Amroth, which had often been a harrowing experience considering how notoriously zealous pirates were in guarding their privacy. 

He had decided it was time to explore further south. But when he returned to the coast, he discovered he had missed the elf by just a few days. This time she had traded for raw copper. He still didn’t know where she came from, but he was able to convince the blacksmith to allow him to exam the jewelry. 

The broaches was definitely dwarven in nature. The settings were perfect, the details sublime. 

Which didn’t make any sense. 

How was the she-elf obtaining such work? She had been a Captain of the royal guard, a soldier with some minor healing abilities, but not a jeweler and certainly not capable of producing master level quality work. 

A stray thought left him breathless, making his legs so wobbly that the blacksmith had offered him a stool. Could Kíli still be alive? The thought was preposterous, but even as he tried to dismiss it, hope took root in his chest. 

Nori tried to remember if Kíli even did jewelry work? 

The lad had always preferred hunting to stonework. However, Nori remembered Thorin once remarking in Ered Luin on Kíli’s gift of detail work and wondering how a dwarrow, who normally couldn’t sit still for more than a half hour, could produce such beautiful work. 

He ruthlessly tried to squash the sense of hope he felt growing within him, but was completely unsuccessful. 

He made a point to speak with every man, woman and child on or near the village’s docks until he found an old seaman who had seen the elf lass cast off. Nori explained his frustration in that he had already visited all the islands around the coast.

“How far did you go out?”

Nori frowned. “How far should I have gone out?”

That was when the old sailor told him about a chain of islands nearly a fortnight away. 

When asked why the islands hadn’t been colonized, the old man had shrugged. Too isolated. Too small. Too many pirates between there and the coast. Unstable seas. Myths of sea monsters with the taste for human flesh. 

“Is there anyone in this hamlet who would be willing to sail me out there?”

The man had grinned and introduced Nori to his son. After haggling a price, which Nori found shockingly fair, he and Jonas, the sailor’s son, headed out to sea.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Nori had to admit that he liked Jonas. For a man, he really wasn’t a bad sort. He had an unflappable personality, calm as the sea at rest, but there was also an intelligence behind his eyes, a gaze that missed nothing. Nori secretly thought the man was wasted at sea.

During the first week of their trip, Jonas taught Nori the ins and outs of sailing; proclaiming that Nori was a natural and if he ever wanted a job, Jonas could hook him up. Nori had countered that if Jonas ever grew tired of the sea and wanted to use his intellect that he’d been willing to give him a job as well. 

The second week had been filled with attempts to one up each other with tales of their adventures, making each other laugh uproariously and cementing their friendship. 

As they neared the islands, the seas grew choppier than Nori was comfortable with. Even though he truly liked Jonas, he would never show the man his fear. Instead, he held on tight, wondering if the rough seas were merely a reflection of the state of is nerves. 

This mission was madness. 

There wasn’t any possible way that Kíli was alive. Thranduil reported that he had seen the lad’s dead body himself, had witnessed Tauriel’s grief. Her anguish had been so overwhelming that Thranduil postulated she had sailed, even though Sylvan elves didn’t typical go to the Grey Havens. 

Nori frowned. Tauriel had sailed. 

Had Thranduil known?

Had he given a teasing clue?

Nori growled in frustration. His theory made no sense. Thranduil had banished Tauriel, and Nori doubted she would have trusted her former king enough to keep her secrets. 

He felt the beginnings of a headache forming behind his eyes. Everything was a mystery and nothing was as it appeared. Nori felt a deep weariness settle in his bones. 

No matter what the outcome of this trip, he decided, he would head home. He had given twenty years to chasing the dead; perhaps, it was time to chase life for a while. 

“Land ho.” Jonas’ quiet words jolted Nori from his thoughts. 

“There are a dozen islands and archipelagos in the area,” Jonas said. “Why don’t we take the furthest out and work our way home.”

Nori nodded.

Home. 

Could Erabor be considered his home? He had only stayed a few weeks before he had accepted Dain’s mission. But then again Ered Luin was no longer home either.

A few hours later, Jonas lightly poked his shoulder and pointed to a small archipelago. “Ready for some exploring?”

Nori straightened and looked at the various land masses behind him, then back at the sandy beach. 

“She isn’t here.”

Jonas looked at him incredulously. “How could you possibly know that?”

“We’re not being watched.”

As the seaman sputtered behind him, certainty locked within his gut. Despite these islands being distant, besides the rumor of monsters with a taste for flesh, too many sailors knew about this chain. Curious or adventurous souls would no doubt checked these islands from time to time. The probability of the red-headed lass staying completely hidden was unlikely. 

In addition, she was paying for supplies with jewelry, and for that she needed resources. The tiny islands surrounding them were nothing but sand mounds with trees. 

No. She needed a mountain. 

He was missing something. Something important. Without a word, he climbed the mast. Once he reached the crow’s nest, he scanned the horizon. 

“Clever lass,” he whispered. “What’s that?” He pointed toward the horizon, then looked down at his companion. 

“Clouds.”

“No.” Nori scrambled back down to the deck. “Not the higher ones. The dark smudge just above the horizon.”

“Nori.” Jonas’ tone was sympathetic. 

“I’ll double your fee if you’re willing to investigate.”

“Double?” Jonas’ eyes grew wide. “To go there?”

“Yes.”

Jonas shrugged, then grinned. “Deal.”

The sailor immediately pulled his sextant from a trunk and began taking readings. 

“You can run, darling,” Nori thought. “But you cannot remain hidden.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

For nearly a week they sailed, the boat skimmed over the waves like a rock skipping over water. Whatever he thought he saw wasn’t where he thought it should be.

Jonas continued to shoot him sympathetic looks, but Nori knew they were close. He didn’t understand how or why, but he felt it in his core. The little string of islands they had passed were a diversion. If anyone else had been following Tauriel, they would assume she was hiding on one of the atolls or perhaps had been lost at sea before she ever reached them. After all, weren’t there supposed to be flesh eating monsters swimming in these waters? 

He nearly wept with relief when he heard the caw of a bird; not a seagull, as expected, but a raven. 

Jonas stood, his mouth agape. “That’s impossible.”

As a single mountain appeared on the horizon, Nori laughed. “Not impossible. But highly improbably, I grant you.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The closer they got to the island, the more beautiful it appeared. Unlike several of the islands he had previously explored, this was not an island consisting of sand and tall skinny trees devoid of branches. Instead, it appeared as if someone had plucked a small forested mountain and stuck it in the middle of the ocean.

Jonas sailed around the island until he discovered a small cove. They were both shocked to find a boat, smaller than theirs, tied to an equally small pier. 

“That cannot be the boat she uses to sail to the mainland.”

Nori shrugged. “She’s an elf. Who knows what magic she is able to wield.”

The mention of magic made Jonas look nervously at the beach. But despite his anxiety, he straightened his back and looked toward Nori. “Where should we explore first?”

Laying a comforting hand on Jonas’ upper arm, Nori found himself admiring the man’s courage in the face of the unknown. “You stay here. Get the boat prepped in case we need to leave in a hurry. I’ll do the exploring.”

Nori pretended not to see the small sag of relief in the sailor’s shoulders. 

While Nori wasn’t a particular lover of green things, he could admit the forest on the island was spectacularly beautiful. Brightly colored birds sang from the trees. Small furry creatures hopped from branch to branch above him. There was an abundance of fruits and as he made his way inland he came across a large vegetable garden in a clearing. 

He took a moment to center himself. He had deduced that she was here, but to see actual evidence of it brought him up short. 

Angling past the garden, he moved steadily inland, toward the mountain. The closer he came, the more farm animals he found ranging freely amongst the trees. While they took note of his presence, they didn’t react in alarm. 

Small well-tread paths headed toward the west side of the mountain, but Nori continued his assent up the peak. Using the trees as cover, he climbed steadily up the slope, then slowly worked his way west. 

He stumbled over a shallow drainage ditch and almost fell, but as he gazed at the compound below him, he almost dropped to his knees again. 

A large almost pie-like wedge had been taken out of the island’s peak. At the base were several buildings. Each building appeared to be built halfway into the mountain and halfway out; all were connected by a large covered veranda. 

One building was quite large, probably living quarters. A cooking area was attached by the veranda, but separated from the other buildings. Across the clearing was a structure for animals. Several lambs could be seen bouncing around their mothers. 

At the tip of the V, Nori spotted a large open air forge. Several feet away was another small building with a large table on the veranda. And sitting at the table, sorting through a rather impressive pile of gems was Kíli, son of Vili. 

Nori’s breath caught. Thorin’s youngest heir was alive. 

And while his heart wanted to shout praises to Mahal at the top of his lungs, Nori found himself frozen in place. 

To know that the last twenty years of his life had not been wasted, that all of his hard work and travels actually meant something, made him want to weep. 

As he leaned against the walnut tree next to him, Tauriel stepped onto the veranda and set a mug in front of Kíli, while at the same time running her hand through his hair. 

Kíli’s smile was blinding in its brilliance as he looked up at her with adoration. He said something too soft for Nori to hear, but Tauriel’s laughter rang out bright and clear. 

A long knife appeared from behind Nori, resting lightly against the right side of his neck. “Whatever you’re thinking, I assure you, you’re wrong.”

Nori knew that voice…as it had haunted his dreams for years. 

With little regard for his own safety, Nori spun to the left and embraced Thorin’s eldest heir. All his words stuck in his throat as he wept with joy. 

A few seconds later, he could hear the knife dropping to the ground behind him. Strong arms enfolded him while a hand gently held the back of his head. 

“Hello, Nori.” Fíli’s voice was tender, though Nori thought he heard a small note of amusement. 

It took several minutes to get his emotions under control, but Fíli showed no signs of impatience. He simply held his friend until Nori felt strong enough to step back. 

Unsure what to do now that his wildest dreams had been answered, Nori cleared his throat. “You’re a hard dwarrow to find.”

Fíli frowned slightly. “You weren’t supposed to find us at all.”

A thousand questions surged forward, each fighting to be the first to be spoken. Flabbergasted, all he could get out was a single word. “Why?”

Fíli studied him for a moment, then looked behind Nori and gave a slight frown. Wordlessly, he tugged on Nori’s arm and guided him back down the mountain. 

Nori followed obediently, although the urge to demand answers almost overwhelmed him. He hoped his patience would be rewarded. 

When they reached the beach on the opposite side of the island from where Jonas’ boat was docked, Nori halted under the trees, silently refusing to go any further. 

Fíli turned when he realized Nori wasn’t following. “We have some chairs a couple hundred feet from here. We’ll be more comfortable there rather than standing here in the sun.”

Nori grumbled, but trudged after him. He spotted several chairs under a pavilion with a leaf roof. 

“Get a lot of company, do ya?”

Fíli fell gracelessly back into a lounge chair, a practiced move, speaking of hundreds of days spent in such a position. “You have questions.”

Nori huffed a breathless laugh as he lowered himself into a straight back chair. “Yes.”

“Where would you like to start?”

Nori was instantly suspicious. Why would Fíli be so willing to talk after having separated himself from his roots? Especially after greeting him with a knife? But he also knew he wouldn’t get any answers if he didn’t ask. “From the beginning. How did you survive?”

Fíli inclined his head slightly as if he approved of the question. “Bilbo wasn’t the only one wearing a mithril shirt during the battle.”

“But…”

Fíli spoke in a flat voice. “While Azog’s blade didn’t pierce me, I wasn’t uninjured. I managed to kill several of them before I was subdued. Unfortunately, by the time Azog had reached the summit of Raven’s Hill with me, I was nearly unconscious. When he stabbed me, the pressure, the angle, the pain, I blacked out. And, of course, the shirt did nothing to prevent the damage from the fall.”

“But…but…”

“Don’t get me wrong. I would have died. Was well on my way when the blue wizards found me.”

“Found you? Blue wizards? What blue wizards? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. Not really.” Fíli took a deep breath, then released it slowly. “Before we reached the Trollshaws, I remember overhearing Gandalf telling Bilbo that there were five wizards in Middle Earth. Although at the time he claimed he couldn’t remember the names of two of them. Of course, I’m not surprised by that seeing as I never had the opportunity to learn their names myself.

“One moment I’m wondering if I was going to be slayed by an orc while I was unable to protect myself and the next I had two nattering old men peering down at me. They kept mumbling about how they had read the signs and couldn’t stay away. They were especially concerned that Saruman would be vexed with them if he found out they were not where they were supposed to be.”

Nori watched as Fíli gazed out at the sea, his voice sounded like he was seeing the past and not the waves before him. 

“They had robes the color of the sea after a storm. I could tell they had spent all their time together. One would start speaking and the other would finish. You couldn’t tell where one ended and one began.”

“And they saved you?”

“Yes.”

“But why? Not that I’m complaining, mind you. But why would any of the Istari care about a dying dwarrow?”

“They said that in a sea of fear and hatred they were drawn by a sense of love.”

“Love?”

Fíli looked over and smiled gently at him. “Not romantic love. Brotherly love. They said they felt my sacrifice and could not bear to see my light extinguished.”

“Sacrifice?” Nori was beginning to feel a bit like a parrot, repeating odd words back to his friend. 

Fíli closed his eyes, appearing to debate internally whether or not to answer the question. When he opened them, he stared back out at the waves rolling against the beach.

“I suspected the orcs were above us. I sent Kíli in the opposite direction, hoping to spare him.”

“Thorin wouldn’t have wanted to sacrifice either of you.”

“I know. But I believed I could be stealthier.” Fíli looked briefly at his hands. “Kíli always ran hot. He would have thrown himself at the orcs with little thought of himself.”

“Which is what he did when he thought you were dead. Dwalin said the last time he saw Kíli alive was right after you fell.”

“I know.”

“Did the blue wizards save him as well?”

“Yes. For the love Tauriel felt for him. Love, they said, that defied barriers.”

“Thranduil said he was dead.”

“And he was.”

Nori jumped from his chair and stared incredulously at the seated prince. “What?”

“We only found one mithril shirt. No matter how much I demanded, begged or pleaded, Kíli wouldn’t take it. He said as first heir I had a duty to wear it. So when Bolg pierced his chest, there wasn’t anything to stop the blade.”

“But…but I just saw him. At the compound.”

“Sit, my friend.” Fíli waited until Nori sat back in his chair. 

“Mahal’s Halls were flooded as the dead from the battle arrived, one right after the other.”

Nori bit his tongue to keep from screaming out his questions. 

“Kíli said he awoke inside a solid bed of stone. He was blind and naked and grieving the loss of Tauriel and myself, unable to rise, unable to separate himself from the stone surrounding him.”

Fíli rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Kíli never knew our father. But he said he knew in his heart that the man stroking his hair and telling him everything would be alright was our da. As he laid encased, he heard the echoes of the Blue Wizards calling his name, entreating him to return.”

Nori eyes stung with tears, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. 

“Kíli said da told him that in the confusion of so many dwarrow arriving at once he might be able to choose.”

“Choose?”

“To either remain in Mahal’s Hall and be whole and at peace or he return to his life, to Tauriel and to me. But if he chose that path, his life would be filled with pain.”

“And he choose pain?”

Fíli’s voice waivered. “He chose love.”

“How is that even possible?”

Fíli shrugged. “Who truly knows how powerful the Istari are?”

Nori briefly wondered if he was capable of making the same decision as the youngest prince had and decided he probably wasn’t. “But why didn’t you come back to Erabor?”

“At first, we couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t?”

“Kíli’s injuries were catastrophic. Even though his soul had returned to his body, his body was badly damaged. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t die again. In fact, during those first few months, I often begged Mahal to take him back. He was in such incredible agony. I blamed our love for anchoring him to the world.”

“Our?”

Fíli’s eyes reflected his pain and guilt. “Tauriel’s and mine. If we were less selfish, perhaps we could have let him go. But neither of us could bear being left behind.”

“How were you even able to leave the battlefield?”

“Tauriel said the wizards called the Eagles of Mahwe.”

“So Gandalf’s known all along?”

“No, the Grey is innocent. The Blues were quite adamant about not telling him.”

“Why?”

“Because they wanted to give us a choice regarding our fate. They felt he would exude unfair pressure on us.”

“Pressure?”

“To return. To rule.”

“But, Fíli, Erabor is your birthright.”

“A birthright tainted by madness.” Fíli laughed bitterly as his hands knotted into fists.

“It doesn’t have to be that way and you know it. Thorin overcame the gold sickness. You have his strength. You have Vili’s strength. Durin’s blood running through your veins.”

“It runs through yours as well, my friend.”

Nori started to wave off the comment, but stopped as Fíli turned, putting his feet in the sand and staring at him intently. 

“I was five when my father died.”

Nori wasn’t sure where Fíli was going with the comment, but was unable to look away from the prince’s intense stare. 

“My mother’s grief all but crippled her.”

Nori still remembered when the counsel of Ered Luin began making preparations to entomb Dis beside her husband. 

“Later, when I was older, I came to realize Thorin thought as the others did, that she would eventually fade. And if she did, the chances of Kíli surviving were small. Of course, I didn’t know that then. All I remember was Thorin taking me aside and telling me that my job was to keep Kíli safe, that my little brother was now and forever my responsibility.”

“Fíli!” Nori was aghast. 

Surely Thorin wouldn’t have… 

As unconventional as it was, Thorin had figured out a way to ground Fíli in case his mother decided to wait with her husband. It was a heavy burden to lay on a toddler. Thorin had essentially stripped away Fíli’s childhood before it ever began in an effort to keep both of his nephews in the world. 

And as much as he wanted to curse the name Thorin Oakenshield, he realized that Dori had essentially done the same thing after their mother has passed. While no one had tasked him with caring for his brothers, Dori had assumed the weight of keeping their family together. He had taken Nori and Ori under his wings and protected them with everything he had. 

While the Ri brothers might have some vestige of Durin’s blood flowing through their veins, they would never know the burden of having to rule their people. As a young dwarrow that had occasionally been a bitter tonic to swallow. 

“My apologies, but I don’t understand what that has to do with giving up your right to rule.”

The pain in Fíli’s eyes made Nori flinch. 

The words were spoken so quietly that Nori essentially had to read Fíli’s lips. “Since Kíli came back, he hasn’t been the same.” 

The whispered confession made Nori’s heart freeze in horror. 

“Bolg’s spear grazed Kíli’s spine. It took years for him to relearn how to walk. Even now, he has to be careful of how he steps. When he gets over-stimulated, he forgets things. Words. Memories. And at night, he sometimes remembers being ripped from the warmth and acceptance of Mahal’s Halls.”

Opening his mouth, Nori found himself unable to speak when Fíli turned to face him. “Can you imagine him in Erabor? What with the stress of trying to make the mountain defensible against attack, not to mention the political positioning and intrigue? Even though the dwarrow would mean to help, they would eventually become impatient with him. And we know there are those who would try to harm him simply because he was my brother.”

“The Company would protect him.”

“The Company has their own lives, their own destinies to fulfill. They would, of course, take care of Kíli to the best of their abilities, but they cannot set their entire lives aside for him, heir or not. The people of Erabor would gradually begin to resent him for he would always be first in my eyes, taking their king’s attention away from the problems at hand. Serious problems. Problems that would need immediate attention. But they would always come second. Always.”

“But you could…”

Fíli shook his head. “No. He’s my brother and it’s my responsibility to protect him.” 

“And you can just walk away from your birthright?”

“Of course I can. It isn’t even the first time I’ve done it.”

Understanding flashed within his memory. “When Kíli was injured and Thorin wanted to leave him in Laketown.”

“Yes. Thorin wanted me to accompany him, but I couldn’t leave Kíli then and I can’t leave him now.” 

“Do you ever resent him?”

Fíli looked stunned. “Resent him? For what?”

“For taking a kingdom away from you?”

Laughing, almost joyfully, Fíli gestured at the scenery around them. Pride filled his voice. “Aren’t I still King of a mountain? Am I not still responsible for those I love?”

“But this isn’t your home.”

Fíli leaned forward and took Nori’s hands in his. “It is, actually. More of a home than Erabor could ever have been. We were born in Ered Luin. While the love of stone runs through our veins, the stars have always shone above us. The forest has always provided for us. Is Erabor the home of my ancestors? Yes, of course. But it is not where my heart lies. It lies here with my wife, with Kíli and with my children.”

Nori was unable to do anything but blink. 

“Life has not halted for me, my friend. In fact, I am happier now than I ever truly believed I could be. “I can finally breathe and discover who am. Kíli has taken nothing away from me. Instead, he has given me the world.”

Still Nori could not speak. 

“Our mountain has all manner of iron and gems and even a small vein of gold. Kíli concentrates on his jewelry and I am becoming quite adept at creating swords. Cirdan has been most complimentary of my work.”

“Cirdan?”

“An elf who occasionally visits. You’d like him, he has a beard.”

“But what of your mother?” It was a loaded question, but Nori felt it needed to be asked. 

Fíli released Nori’s hands. “My one regret is that I cannot share my life with my mother.”

“Fíli--”

“No, Nori. My mother found the will to live after my father passed because she realized she needed to live for her people, to give them hope. She has always been about duty and honor, as is expected of a princess, but often at the expense of her sons. I do not blame her for that nor do I hold any resentment toward her. A princess is who she was always meant to be. Besides, she has already mourned us.

“But my duty, the first duty given to me by my king, was the welfare of my brother and by extension, our family. A family my mother would struggle to accept, and her hesitation would damage my brother, maybe beyond repair.”

Nori struggled to reconcile everything Fíli had told him. The prince said nothing, but simply watched his face. 

“There is nothing I can say that will change your mind?”

Fíli shook his head. 

Understanding came slowly, but surely. “You brought me here because if Kíli saw me, he would demand you accept your birthright, even if it meant his death.”

Fíli’s said nothing, but his eyes were bright with unshed tears. 

“And so you could dispose of my body without upsetting him, if need be.” 

The exiled prince nodded at him once. 

Nori smile was a gentle one. “I have the overwhelming urge to go home and hold my brothers until they turn blue.”

In an instant, Nori made his decision. It wouldn’t make anyone in Erabor happy, it would trivialize the last twenty years of his life; but in his soul, he knew it was the right thing to do. He knelt down on one knee before Fíli. 

“I would have followed you anywhere, my prince, my king.” Placing his hand over his heart, he looked into the uncertain eyes before him. “As an heir of Durin, convoluted though my bloodlines may be, and for the love I carry for your family, I release you from your birthright. Stay here in your mountain, with your sheep and your gardens. Raise your children, protect your brother, but foremost, be happy. Know that your existence will go with me to my grave. May Mahal bless you and yours.”

Fíli surged forward and hugged Nori with all of his might. “Thank you, Nori. Thank you.”

Nori pressed his forehead to Fíli’s. He raised his hand and cupped Fíli’s cheek, his eyes taking in what he knew would be his last look at his prince. Nodding once, he pressed his lips against Fíli’s forehead, then released him. He stood and took a step back, then turned and headed to where Jonas was waiting, never looking back. For if he did, he knew his resolve would waiver.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jonas helped Nori get in the boat. His face lit with curiosity.

“Did you find her?”

But instead of answering, Nori looked the sailor in the eye. “I need you to do me a favor, Jonas.”

“Of course.”

“Forget you were ever here. Forget this island even exists. Can you do that for me?”

Jonas frowned slightly.

“Nothing can ever be said to anyone. Not your father. Nor any future children. You must never speak of this place. Ever. Do you understand?”

Jonas continued to look confused. 

“We will be the last strangers allowed to leave this island alive. If you tell anyone of this place, you will be sending them to their death.”

Jonas’ astonished gaze searched his face. Whatever he found must have convinced him. He nodded once.

“Good. Let’s go home.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Nori tapped his pipe over the edge of the balcony, watching the ashes float briefly on the wind before falling to the rocks below. He scraped out the bowl and slipped the pipe back into his coat.

As he contemplated what he should do next, he felt a moment of great empathy for Fíli. For what was he going to do with his life now that his quest was over? Destiny seemed to indicate that he would work for Dain gathering intelligence. A noble profession, if he could use his talents to keep Erabor safe. 

But he also wondered if he was strong enough to set his destiny aside for one of his brothers? Could he give up everything he knew or dreamed of ever having for them?

The ‘Yes’ shouted from his heart and reverberated around his body. 

In that regard, he was no different from the exiled prince. 

And for the first time in twenty years he felt true peace settle in his heart. 

A noise drew his attention and he frowned slightly trying to identify it. He briefly wondered what the odds were that a herd of goats was stampeding toward him.

The thought had no more formed when Ori came scrambling up the stairs. His younger brother’s eyes were wild as his gaze tried to take in everything on the balcony at once. The skinny dwarrow he had left years ago had filled out, both in body and beard. The gangly boy was gone and a sturdy young dwarrow stood in his place. 

Nori barely had a chance to stand before his brother embraced him in a tight hug. Unexpected tears filled his eyes as he gripped Ori just as hard. After a few minutes, he expected Ori to release him, but his brother gave no indication that he was going to let him go any time before dawn. 

Seconds later another set of arms wrapped around him from the back. 

Dori. 

Nori smiled as his soul relaxed. He supposed he understood Fíli’s choices after all.


End file.
